By Tom Howard, Truth and Reparations Task Force Member
I heard but did not listen; I listened but did not hear; I received but did not fully understand. These were part of a continuing anguish I experienced in coming to grips with the challenges of understanding and accepting the need, purpose, and necessity for truth and reparations to heal our communities – state, nation, and the world – in becoming the Beloved Community of God.
My first reflection on reparations was submitted in hopes of being selected for the Diocese’s Reparations Task Force – later renamed the Truth and Reparations Task Force – which I assumed would be a simple, “feel-good,” straight-forward, benevolent effort to address the sins and wrong-doings of our past and make recompense. And since I live in a region of former plantations, and with several active indigenous communities, I felt these would be an ideal gateway for implementing our team’s reparation actions and initiatives. I also acknowledged my trepidations towards the subject of reparations and its implementation, and the true source and guide for living a good life with truth and reconciliation: the Holy Bible – it being within an arm’s length on my desk. But, I did not fully understand, and the Holy Spirit would not let me rest until it was time. I anguished until I received a little more enlightenment and understanding from God above.
Understanding the term “Reparation” demands so much more than the textual wording in a dictionary definition. There are numerous Scriptural references and mandates that explain and justify the need for reconciliation/repair and recompense, and it’s also part of our Baptismal Covenant. During several Truth and Reparations Task Force Zoom and in-person meetings, we had discussions about arriving to an agreed-upon definition for reparation that we all could move forward with. I believe that the general understanding and way-forward process of this is to understand, acknowledge, and confess our inherited and derived sins, repent, reconcile, and repair. The bridge/gaps that divide us from treating and loving others as we ourselves would like to be treated and loved.
My understanding and enlightenment concerning Reparations:
- The Truth is simple, and the Truth will set you free – will free the mind and soul.
- We live with our Past. Our Past also lives with us – and can affect our thoughts, actions, and interpersonal relations.
- We are all impacted. This impacts us all.
- We must acknowledge and understand the truth of our past, confess and repent our past-derived and ongoing associated sins and misgivings, and then we will be better positioned to reconcile and make repair/reparations.
- Allow the Holy Spirit to work within us.
I have a very dear friend and church member, whose family farm dates back to the 1600s, and who was uncomfortable with “Reparations.” He had an acquaintance ask him his feelings on this topic, and what had he done for reparations. The question angered and frustrated my friend. I could feel his love and respect for my Truth and Reparations efforts, and yet also his anguish. I didn’t have an answer for him at that time. But now I most certainly and confidently have a response for my friend. When asked what had he done for Reparations, he can reply: I understand, acknowledge, and confess the Past and my derived sins, and I then reconcile and make repairs.
Scripture tells us that we won’t know it all now, and not even later when we go to our heavenly home. But we have a Comforter, the Holy Spirit, and scripture to guide and level our paths on efforts and activities we undertake in God’s name.
I found my truth and peace concerning reparations by praying for understanding and guidance and waiting for the Holy Spirit to work within me. I also grew from the shared experiences and concerns of my Truth and Reparations Task Force members, who also struggled and progressed with me in enlightenment and understanding.
I believe the Spirit has a personal and unique message of understanding and discernment for truth and reparations for each of us. Just ask, seek, and pray for guidance.
I can now go afield, with confidence and assurance, and address the issue and need for reparations, for I have found my very own truth and peace.